The Checkout Aisle

Evaluate this with me if you will: how come whenever you go to the grocery store there are like ten checkout aisles and only three of them are open? Are they trying to say something like, "We are terribly undermanned and don't care enough about you morons to hire more people." And have you ever noticed that when you first come into the store, the aisles are empty, but by the time you've gotten your bottle of Advil, the've come two by seven from all around the world!!!
I'm one of those people that is just plain unlucky. Whenever I go to check out, do I get the employee of the month? No, she's two aisles over, I've got the guy that handed Lincoln the theater program the night he was shot. Apparently, that night shook him up pretty badly because he can't stop shaking. On top of that he moves with the vigor and energy of a rock. I either get him or a woman who talks so much that I swear she's a pull string doll that pulls her own string. Yak-yak-yak-yak-yak-yak!!!!!

Okay, enough of the cruelty. The concert in Berrien Springs went quiet well. We sold some CDs and the church was very friendly and warm to us. My comedy went very well and I believe that the people there were blessed through our ministry. We are always excited to see God's work, and we look forward to our future engagements.

-Joshua

A Scarred Past

I remember several years ago how I got my first scar on my knuckle. I was opening a can of dog food (for my dog, of course) when I felt something sharp on my right pointer finger. I looked down to see that the sharp edge of the can lid had cut me deep. I remember thinking, "Oh look: I'm bleeding." I let out a yell and said something like, "I just cut off my finger!!!!" (You know how little kids can overreact.) My dad went into the bathroom for a band aid and told me to hold my finger up high so it would stop bleeding. I looked at my still bleeding finger over my head and wanted to say, "Tell that to my finger!!!" Amazingly, I didn't get stitches from the hospital. My dad wanted to do it himself, but I wouldn't let him. He's no Betsy Ross, if you know what I mean! I would've wound up walking around with my right hand sown to my eyebrow.

Good news! Both my CD and Stephen's CD are officially out and available for purchase! WE are very excited to see what the Lord will do through our ministry and sincerely hope that these projects are a blessing to many. Enjoy! (The CDs, not a Coca Cola)

-Joshua

Too Many Steps, People

I was in Dairy Queen the other day and I saw something that made me start to laugh out loud. My dad and I were fixing one of their ice cream machines when I saw it: the instructions for the One Step Blizzard Treat....... the problem: the One Step Blizzard Treat had four steps in making it!!!!! Think about this, folks.... somebody couldn't count..... "Let's see: one step.... two steps.... three........... oh, pistachio. One step." Somebody flunked preschool. This is the same person who, asks "Would you like extra salt?"................ do I LOOK like a deer?????

STILL no news on my CD, but I am very excited and anticipating its release. I'm almost excited as my biggest fan.......... right, mom?

-Joshua

Fast Food Is Wierd

I was at a fast food restaurant the other day and I realized that there are a lot dumb things about fast food. Dumb thing #1: you pull up to the drive thru and they say, "Welcome to McDonald's, how may I help you?"...................Um, you can take my order, stupid. I mean, seriously, did they think I might say something else? "Yeah, I need a suit pressed, can you guys do that?.....No?....Okay, I guess I'll try Burger King!" Dumb thing #2: they always ask you things like, "Would you like to supersize that fry?"............um, no, if I wanted a supersize, I wouldn't have ordered a small!!! Oh, excuse me, you know far better than I do what I would like to clog my arteries with. By all means, YOU order my food! I don't mean to be hard on fast food people, I know that they're making a living, but couldn't they try to ask smart-people-questions?

No news on my CD yet, but I'll let you know when it's available on our website. Be sure to visit us at www.foresterministries.com. We'll keep you posted!

-Joshua

Roadkill

I was driving to church this past Sunday with my family and I noticed something in the road, but I couldn't make out what it was. I thought that perhaps it was roadkill. I started to move away from it, but I moved too late. I drove right over the roadkill. The only thing was that it wasn't roadkill before I hit it! It was in fact a turtle in the road, I think that it's in a soup somehwere in that great restaurant up yonder! Speaking of turtles, if a turtle loses its shell, is it considered naked or homeless??? Either way, it'll probably still beat that silly rabbit. I know, I know, I was just making a joke. I know that it was a Taurus and a mare.

On another note, my final debts for my CD have been paid, so I should be receiving the finished product relatively soon. I sent off the last amount of money today and I hope to have the CD by the June 29 concert we have booked after Father's Day. I am really looking forward to being in Berien Springs, and I hope to have my product by the time I and my brother go. We'd love to see you there!

-Joshua

It's almost done!

My CD is well on it's way to being finished! Last week I was in the studio every day except Friday, and we went from only having two songs done to finishing nine songs, with just a little more work on one of them. Originally we did not figure on getting so much done so soon, but now we are getting really excited. I am hoping to get it all done in time for the newly booked date that we just received for June 29. I can't get back in the studio right away, but I will hurry back as soon as possible.
The new date will soon be posted on the schedule section of our website, so be sure to check it if you live anywhere near Berien Springs, Mi. to see when and where it will be held.
In case you saw this blog through a means other than our website, the site address is foresterministries.com

Joshua- Not Exactly Singin' In The Rain!!!

My dad owns a heating and cooling buisiness adn I work with him. Today, we were at a gas station working on the roof with the ugliest clouds all around us. No sooner do we get ready to head down the ladder than do I see the first flash of lightning not any too far away! No worries for dad, he was already on the ground. After I finally got to the sweet, sweet ground below, I had to put my body in contact with the best conductor of electricity around: our metal ladder. I wrestled the huge extendable over to the truck with the thunder going in multiple places, but, because of my dain bramage, I got the stupid thing stuck on top of the truck!!! I then found myself doing two things: standing on top of the truck with thunder all over the place while I struggled with the ladder, and pledging that I would go to Africa if God would just let me get down alive. Finally, I got down and no more than about fifteen seconds after we got inside the gas station, the weather turned from zero rain to a sideways downpour in about two seconds. Seeing this, I knew that there was a God in Heaven! I'm kind hoping though that God doesn't hold me to the Africa thing!
Still no update on my new comedy CD, but I'll keep you posted if anything new comes up!

- Joshua

Joshua's CD Update

Well, I have an update on my CD. My recording is finished after performing live, and the production is in progress. I have paid for the artwork and have seen a preview of it myself. The CD should be available soon, and will be available on the website as well as in concert. I am very excited about my first recording and will let you know when it is ready for sale.

In the meantime, I want to expound a little on what I said before about classical music. I know that it can be a good thing and millions of people enjoy it (well, maybe thousands.....hundreds....a few...). However, as I said before, I cannot stand it. Most pieces are very long and repetitious. After a while, they begin to have an effect on you. I think that I am beginning to repeat myself. After a while they begin to have an effect on you. I think I am beginning to repeat myself! After a while.... Oh, peanut butter.
Anyway, one other problem I have with the music is that there aren't any words. It's easy to walk down the street singing, "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound," but no one ever sings classical as they go for their morning jog. And that's because they would look like idiots singing "C, E, G, F, A,". Of course, that's not much worse than "Doe, a deer, a female deer."