Gas Station Blues

I was working with my dad again today and we pulled into a gas station. There price was pretty good and there were lines, so we pulled up behind a lady and waited for her to get done. She was apparently filling her tank, which I have no problem with, but this lady's elevator probably stopped around her toenails. I think her multitasking ability was left out of the blueprints because after the tank finished filling, she was standing there talking on her cell phone..... and doing nothing else. She stood there... and stood there... gabbed and stood there... Finally, my dad, undertsandably being impatient, opened the door and said to her, "Are you gonna be here long? We'd like to get some gas." The lady had been standing there on the phone for like a minute and a half doing nothing, and then she gave us a look that you normally only see from blonds. You know, the "there's a PLANET going on here?" kind of look.

Make sure you see our website, www.foresterministries.com and see our shcedule, CDs, and bios!
-Joshua

Sometimes The Crowd Is Funnier Than I Am

I hate that. This past Sunday we were back at Riverwalk Baptists Church for their Sunday morning service. I was in the middle of my Schwarzenegger impression when somebody started laughing like somebody funny was on stage. For sake of minimal embarassment (not the lack thereof :) I shall not give her name, but she laughed so hard I had to stop the routine and wait for her to calm down. When I resumed, so did she. I wanted to say, "Ushers, would you please remove this woman?" Just kidding. If you're reading this, you really brightened up my day.

Don't forget to check out www.foresterministries.com and see us on the web!

-Joshua

Personal Ads Are Retarded

I have a thing against personal ads. Do you really think that EVERYBODY out there is "attractive, fun-loving, and an all-around good person"? I would love to take out a personal ad just to mess with those people.
"Short, dumpy Caucasian male with splotches of European. Likes to wear flannel all year, has somewhere between fifteen and twenty teeth. Left leg is shorter than the right. Loves to ski. Hates moonlight walks, candlelight dinners, poetry, and anything remotely romantic. Can't stand animals, has a deep hatred for children, thinks in-laws should be outlawed. Has a repuslive taste for fun, enjoys miserable, cold, rainy days. An all-around good person. Call me at 555-2DREAMY."

Visit our website at http://www.foresterministries.com/ to see our schedule, store, and our bios.

-Joshua

College Comedy

Yesterday, I had one of the most pressured times in my life: I did about five minutes of stand-up comedy at Midwestern Baptist College! THAT'S pressure!!! It was either make all my new friends think I'm really good at this and funny or they look at me like they wish they had no idea who I was. I tried out a new piece of material and it seemed to go pretty well.

I was kind of worried about the whole thing though because I had only gotten a grand total of like three hours sleep the night before. The problem was that a storm had knocked out our power at 1:50 AM. I was depending on my iPod alarm to wake me up, but when I had to unplug everything, I found myself doing the dumbest thing ever. I decided that the only thing that would get me up on time would be to take my iPod itself, set the alarm on that thing, then try to go to sleep with earbuds in my head............that doesn't work. I was conscious that if I rolled over, the buds would come out. When one is lying in bed trying not to roll over, one doesn't fall asleep very easily. Too bad I couldn't have slept on a psycho stretcher (I would have, but mine was getting repaired). Anyway, after all that, my alarm clock switched to battery power and went off on schedule. I had to sing "O, How I Love Jesus" all morning to keep the right spirit. Good thing it went off, though, because my iPod's clock was about an hour behind. I would've woke up about the time we had to leave.
"What's for breakfast?" "A cracker, grab a tie and get in the car!" Thankfully, the day still went well.
Don't forget to check us out at www.foresterministries.com and see our CDs!

-Joshua

A Simple Brain Test

Here's a test for you: what would an amish person blog about?
ANSWER: nothing. He doesn't own a computer, stupid.

Don't worry, whether you answered it right or not, you're still a winner! If you answered correctly, you've just won a pat on the back from my invisible friend (don't look for him; he'll be there and gone before you know it).
If you answered incorrectly, you've just won an all-expenses-paid tuition to the Remedial Institute of Duh. I may seem harsh, but my WTYFGH Syndrome can explain it all. Don't know what WTYFGH is? See me in concert or buy my CD to find out! (PLEASE?)

Visit us on the web at www.foresterministries.com.

-Joshua

Ever Thought About....?

Have you ever stopped to think about some really weird things? Such as the laughing stock of the jungle would be a lisping snake: "I cant hith! Thomebody help me! Thith ith tho thtupid!"
Or maybe Siamese elephants that were joined at the trunk? :"No Bob! Don't blow your nose! Please Bob! Ooooouuuch!!!"
Here's one, Sean Connery for president: "As my running mate, I select Moneypenny."

Please check us out on the web at www.foresterministries.com. Thanks!

-Joshua

Mark & Andrea Forester's Homcoming

Today I was trying to figure out what on earth I could write in this blog, (how can I write anything serious after reading Josh's blog about car names?!) when I realized that Josh left out one very important detail about our performance at Mark & Andrea's Homecoming concert.
Is it a very important one? I happen to think so, since it was about my singing with Mark and Jim Brady of the Booth Brothers! I got to sing "Who Can Do Anything?" off my CD with Mark And Jim backing me up, and I was pretty sure that I had just been swept into heaven!

We sold some CDs, and got some demo packs handed out to people from other churches for possible dates. If you would like us to send one to you or your church, contact us at foresterministries@yahoo.com to request one free of charge.

See you next time,
Stephen.