I realized today that I could not do any other job but stand-up comedy. I'm just too big a smart alleck! Comedy is the only job that I could do where I could mess with people and it be OK. For instance, I coul not be an airline pilot (Besides the fact that that would be WAY too much work....and I don't drink). I would mess with my passengers in the worst ways. 'Good afternoon ladies and getnelmen, this is your captain speaking. We hope that you have a nice flight. Try to ignore the smoke and flames that you might see out your- SWEET MERCY, WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" Or I would say, "Folks, I misinformed you earlier by saying that we were ok. I've just learned that depressurizing is a BAD thing."
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-Joshua
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