Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Merry Christmas!

This week my brother and I are finding up the last week of our first semester at Midwestern Baptist College. We've made a lot of new friends there and are planning to return again next semester. We've enjoyed it all immensely and we believe that this is where the Lord wants us to be.
Last Tuesday night, I had an interesting experience: I had to preach for the first time in front of my class. THAT'S what you call in need of a sedative! Anyway, matters were made worse by the fact that somebody else preached on my very same topic! He preached on forgiveness just as I had planned to do, though at the moment forgiveness was then the FURTHEST thing from my mind! (I wanted to kill him.....in Christian love, of course) Luckily I had two sermons so everything was okay.

Don't forget, stop by http://www.foresterministries.com/ and check out our website! Merry Christmas to all! And to all, a jubilous St. Patrick's day!

-Joshua

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Weird Country Names

Have you ever stopped and thought about some of the names that belong to countries? Try using some of these weird ones in a sentence: "Oh, I think I'm coming down with Bulgaria!" "I'm sorry, but you'll just have to Kuwait. I'm making Madagascar-and-cheese right now." "Iran, you ran, he ran, she, we, they ran."..... Sorry, my dain bramage came out a little there.

Don't forget to check us out on the web at www.foresterministries.com for CDs, booking info, and our schedule! We are accepting dates (concert times) for 2009 (cause 2020 is too far away right now).

-Joshua

Monday, November 24, 2008

For all of you folks out there in blogger land who may have been curious: Yes, I am still traveling in this crazy two-man group that we call "The Forester Brothers"! I thought about telling a few lies and excuses for not writing lately and dumping everything on Josh, but then I remembered that in an older post I already used the excuse of being abducted by aliens!
Anyway, I thought I'd tell about our last couple of concerts that we have done this month.

We did a concert on the 8th of this month w/ Mark & Andrea Forester and a trio called His Strength. it was supposed to be a benefit concert for Strength's radio ministry. We only had a little over thirty people show up, but we still had a great time, sold a few CDs, raised a little money for the radio program, and praised God. Josh was in rare form that night. On my last song that I sang, (On My Journey Home) he was goofing of so much on stage that I laughed out more notes than I sang!
Last night we did an evening concert for a Nazarene church in Bay City. There were approx. 75 people there, and boy, were they a great bunch! They clapped along on several songs, laughed at every thing Josh said, and even laughed at MY corny jokes! We had a wonderful time, and Josh and I both agreed that that church would be an excellent place for recording a live CD because of there great response and energy.
Next Sunday we will be at Brown's City United Methodist, and we are looking forward to it, as we do every concert.
God bless all of our readers.....and Happy Thanksgiving!


Stephen

Monday, November 17, 2008

Why I'm Glad Women Don't Rule The World

I don't mean in any way to be chauvinist here, but there are several reasons I am glad women don't completely control the planet:
  • every toilet seat on the earth would be chained down.
  • the only TV show would be "Charlie's Angels".
  • all Terminator memorabilia would be confiscated and burned.
  • men would be executed for using the "good towels".
  • all pickup trucks would be traded in for pink Volkswagens.
  • "Walker, Texas Ranger" would become "Alex, District Attorney".
  • it would be a crime to mention "HeMan".

okay, maybe some of these were exaggerations....but every toilet seat WOULD be chained down!

Be sure to stop by www.foresterministries.com and check out our website!

-Joshua

Monday, November 10, 2008

Coolest Concert Ever!

We just recently did the Roseville concert with Greater Vision and Legacy Five. It was awesome! I have never shared a stage with some of the top names in gospel music before, and it was a real honor, and at the same time a terryfing experience! If I were to mess up, EVERYBODY IMPORTANT WOULD KNOW IT!

Anyway, I've been kind of hard up for jokes lately. Honestlty, finding a joke has gotten as hard as finding a parking space on Cheistmas Eve: "Taken, taken, taken, taken, fire lane, taken...Ooh!.....Ah, maccedamien, the meter's busted...".....wait....that was a joke.

Stop by our website, www.foresterministries.com, to check us out.

-Joshua

Friday, October 24, 2008

Gas Station Blues

I was working with my dad again today and we pulled into a gas station. There price was pretty good and there were lines, so we pulled up behind a lady and waited for her to get done. She was apparently filling her tank, which I have no problem with, but this lady's elevator probably stopped around her toenails. I think her multitasking ability was left out of the blueprints because after the tank finished filling, she was standing there talking on her cell phone..... and doing nothing else. She stood there... and stood there... gabbed and stood there... Finally, my dad, undertsandably being impatient, opened the door and said to her, "Are you gonna be here long? We'd like to get some gas." The lady had been standing there on the phone for like a minute and a half doing nothing, and then she gave us a look that you normally only see from blonds. You know, the "there's a PLANET going on here?" kind of look.

Make sure you see our website, www.foresterministries.com and see our shcedule, CDs, and bios!
-Joshua

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Sometimes The Crowd Is Funnier Than I Am

I hate that. This past Sunday we were back at Riverwalk Baptists Church for their Sunday morning service. I was in the middle of my Schwarzenegger impression when somebody started laughing like somebody funny was on stage. For sake of minimal embarassment (not the lack thereof :) I shall not give her name, but she laughed so hard I had to stop the routine and wait for her to calm down. When I resumed, so did she. I wanted to say, "Ushers, would you please remove this woman?" Just kidding. If you're reading this, you really brightened up my day.

Don't forget to check out www.foresterministries.com and see us on the web!

-Joshua

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Personal Ads Are Retarded

I have a thing against personal ads. Do you really think that EVERYBODY out there is "attractive, fun-loving, and an all-around good person"? I would love to take out a personal ad just to mess with those people.
"Short, dumpy Caucasian male with splotches of European. Likes to wear flannel all year, has somewhere between fifteen and twenty teeth. Left leg is shorter than the right. Loves to ski. Hates moonlight walks, candlelight dinners, poetry, and anything remotely romantic. Can't stand animals, has a deep hatred for children, thinks in-laws should be outlawed. Has a repuslive taste for fun, enjoys miserable, cold, rainy days. An all-around good person. Call me at 555-2DREAMY."

Visit our website at http://www.foresterministries.com/ to see our schedule, store, and our bios.

-Joshua

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

College Comedy

Yesterday, I had one of the most pressured times in my life: I did about five minutes of stand-up comedy at Midwestern Baptist College! THAT'S pressure!!! It was either make all my new friends think I'm really good at this and funny or they look at me like they wish they had no idea who I was. I tried out a new piece of material and it seemed to go pretty well.

I was kind of worried about the whole thing though because I had only gotten a grand total of like three hours sleep the night before. The problem was that a storm had knocked out our power at 1:50 AM. I was depending on my iPod alarm to wake me up, but when I had to unplug everything, I found myself doing the dumbest thing ever. I decided that the only thing that would get me up on time would be to take my iPod itself, set the alarm on that thing, then try to go to sleep with earbuds in my head............that doesn't work. I was conscious that if I rolled over, the buds would come out. When one is lying in bed trying not to roll over, one doesn't fall asleep very easily. Too bad I couldn't have slept on a psycho stretcher (I would have, but mine was getting repaired). Anyway, after all that, my alarm clock switched to battery power and went off on schedule. I had to sing "O, How I Love Jesus" all morning to keep the right spirit. Good thing it went off, though, because my iPod's clock was about an hour behind. I would've woke up about the time we had to leave.
"What's for breakfast?" "A cracker, grab a tie and get in the car!" Thankfully, the day still went well.
Don't forget to check us out at www.foresterministries.com and see our CDs!

-Joshua

Friday, September 26, 2008

A Simple Brain Test

Here's a test for you: what would an amish person blog about?
ANSWER: nothing. He doesn't own a computer, stupid.

Don't worry, whether you answered it right or not, you're still a winner! If you answered correctly, you've just won a pat on the back from my invisible friend (don't look for him; he'll be there and gone before you know it).
If you answered incorrectly, you've just won an all-expenses-paid tuition to the Remedial Institute of Duh. I may seem harsh, but my WTYFGH Syndrome can explain it all. Don't know what WTYFGH is? See me in concert or buy my CD to find out! (PLEASE?)

Visit us on the web at www.foresterministries.com.

-Joshua

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Ever Thought About....?

Have you ever stopped to think about some really weird things? Such as the laughing stock of the jungle would be a lisping snake: "I cant hith! Thomebody help me! Thith ith tho thtupid!"
Or maybe Siamese elephants that were joined at the trunk? :"No Bob! Don't blow your nose! Please Bob! Ooooouuuch!!!"
Here's one, Sean Connery for president: "As my running mate, I select Moneypenny."

Please check us out on the web at www.foresterministries.com. Thanks!

-Joshua

Mark & Andrea Forester's Homcoming

Today I was trying to figure out what on earth I could write in this blog, (how can I write anything serious after reading Josh's blog about car names?!) when I realized that Josh left out one very important detail about our performance at Mark & Andrea's Homecoming concert.
Is it a very important one? I happen to think so, since it was about my singing with Mark and Jim Brady of the Booth Brothers! I got to sing "Who Can Do Anything?" off my CD with Mark And Jim backing me up, and I was pretty sure that I had just been swept into heaven!

We sold some CDs, and got some demo packs handed out to people from other churches for possible dates. If you would like us to send one to you or your church, contact us at foresterministries@yahoo.com to request one free of charge.

See you next time,
Stephen.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Weird Car Names

Have you ever stopped to think about certain car names? Some of them are memorable and cool. Who wouldn't like the name Thunderbird, Crossfire, or Hummer. You hear those, you think "cool car"! But some car names really should've been thought about more. You could almost put them in another context and they would make sense: "Bye honey, I'm off to hunt some Subaru!"
Or "Ewe, somebody squish that Bug!" How about "I'm gonna sneeze...ah...ah... Tacoma!" Here's one "Gives zose German volks a wagen!"
There are other names that don't make sense besides car names: "Toshiba....didn't we bomb them in WWII?" Or "Jimmy, It's time to start: go ring the church Dell!"

Mark and Andrea Forester's Homecoming with the Booth Brothers was last Saturday night, and my brother and I were privileged to perform there. It was a real honor and privilege to share the stage with those two groups, one of which being family. I used a brand new piece of Material that expressed the hassles of College registration.
Speaking of which, this past Tuesday my brother and I attended Midwestern Baptist College. It was really exciting to become a part of that wonderful college and we hope to grow in the Lord through it.
Stop by www.foresterministries.com and see our site!

-Joshua

Monday, September 1, 2008

How To Get Fired Without Ever Working There

I was working with my dad on a refrigeration call at DQ the other day when I saw a sign near the back of the store. It said that there were extra hats and uniform t-shirts in the office; this got me thinking.............(BAAAAD!!!!) I would love to go into Dairy Queen from the back door and, if the office is unlocked, sneak in and don a uniform. I would then find the nearest manager and tell him or her, "You are an idiot. The entire time I have been here, I have thought that you were the biggest stiff and the biggest dork, which would be a stork. You are a loser in every aspect, and I regret that I have been deprived precious time from life by working under you, you ridiculous excuse for an amoeba." By the time the manager decided to fire a complete stranger that he'd swear he's never seen before, I'd say, "Fine, you don't pay me much anyway!"

Don't forget to visit www.foresterministries.com and check out our site!

-Joshua

Thursday, August 28, 2008

More news about our ministry

Hey, everyone, I'm sorry that we haven't been putting up new blogs recently, but things have been pretty busy here with us for several reasons. For one thing, we had a little scare with my Dad's health this week when he had to go to the emergency room in the hospital for heart trouble. His heart was beating almost three times as fast as it normally would, and he was in serious danger of a stroke or heart attack. But we thank the Lord that after several days in the hospital, his heart rate was stabilized and he was sent home with a bag full of medicine. We now must keep a close eye on him to see if there are any adverse side effects such as lowering the heart rate too much or messing up his blood pressure.

Back to the ministry stuff. If you haven't read it already, check out Josh's last blog to read his big news. I don't know for sure if I will be on that program, but I am excited for my brother anyway.

I called the Pastor of Riverwalk Baptist Church this week, and learned exactly what we are supposed to do for their Family Carnival on October 4. We will be doing short shows once every hour featuring puppets, magic, skits, and whatever else we think is appropriate for a group of several hundred elementary school kids. We will present the Gospel in different ways, and we pray that many will trust Christ that day.(We also pray for good weather!)

We appreciate all your prayers,
-Stephen

Big News From The Comedian

Big news, everyone: last Wednesday, my brother Mark called and told me the biggest most exciting news of my life. I have been booked, for November 1, to appear in Roseville Michigan with Greater Vision and Legacy Five! For once, I am not telling a joke! This is the biggest thing ever to me, and I am really excited. I cannot wait for November now!
On a less exciting note, I was working with my dad today and we were fixing a leak in the ceiling that A/C related. He had to use a ladder, and when the job was done, he asked me to fold it up for him. So I grabbed the ladder and began the intricate folding process, when I realized that my hand was hurting. Not from carpal tunnel, but I looked and realized, "Oh, Billy Goat, my hand is caught in the ladder." Nobody saw me, but I started laughing anyway.
Be sure to check us out at www.foresterministries.com !

-Joshua

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Heaven Will Be Great IF.....

Have you ever met one of those people that you just wish you weren't going to see in Heaven? I know that sounds mean, but I'm sure all of us have thought that at one point or another! Think about this: that know-it-all neighbor might have a mansion next door, or you'll have to listen to motor-mouth forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.... And think about this: since there's no sin in Heaven, no matter how much you may want to tell him to stick his head under the lawn mower, you won't have the heart in eternity! "Listen Jim, I've heard you gab all day..........but...........(UGH)....must.......listen to.............Gomer Pyle!!!!!" Since God has a sense if humor, I have a feeling that if there's a brother in Christ that you can't stand down here, you'll be roommates with him in Heaven.

The concerts at the Pix Theater and Forester Park went very well. I tried out a new piece of material that went extremely well in both events, and it is now a part of my shtick. I won't tell, but think of what you would get if you combined Green Acres, over-the-top action movies, late night TV and old cowboy films. Puzzled? You'll find out if you come see us! Be sure to stop by the website, www.foresterministries.com.

-Joshua

Monday, July 28, 2008

How Do You Swallow This???

My church is doing Vacation Bible School, but it's for six Sundays instead of five straight days. Our theme is sailing, with the bad guys being pirates. Anyway, all the helpers, including myself, wear sailor hats. As we were on our way home, I took my hat off and saw the tag on the inside. It was here that I found one of the dumbest things I've ever read: "WARNING: Choking hazard, small parts, not intended for children under three years"!!! I began to examine the hat thinking I had missed something. I tried to find small parts on the hat, but I could not. There were no buttons, strings, or even loose threads! How many parents have ever walked into a room and screamed, "Oh zucchini, junior's choking on his hat!!!" I can see a three-year-old trying to pull that oversized sailor hat from his air passage. Further more, what three-year-old child has ever looked at a sailor hat that was about seven sizes too big for him and said to himself, "I think I shall try to force this white whozzamajigger into my lungs!"
Don't forget to check out our website at www.foresterministries.com!

-Joshua

Thursday, July 24, 2008

The Drama of Dairy Queen- by Stephen

I think that I have mentioned here in the past that I have a part-time job at Dairy Queen. It's not the highest paying job on the planet, (made obvious by the fact that I am currently receiving financial support from a ten-year old boy in Zimbabwe) but it has raised some much-needed funds for our ministry. Anyway, recently I was at work when disaster struck.......Chuck Norris announced that he was running for President!
OK, it wasn't that bad, but it was a bit embarrassing. Someone pulled up to the drive-through and ordered some food and a coffee. It was going to take a couple of minutes to make the food fresh, so we asked if they could pull through and around to the other side to park and we would bring it out to them as soon as it was done.
But while we were waiting for the food to finish dripping off grease, Daryl, my manager, asked me to go make the coffee. I immediately began fasting and praying for a miracle, because I knew that that would be the only way I could accomplish this task! You see, I have never been able to swallow a sip of coffee in my life, (I'm pretty sure that it's made from devil's blood) so if I don't even drink it, how should I know how to make it?
I panicked. Daryl seemed to know that something was wrong, so he started telling me how to add the coffee mix and make the hot water come out of the coffee-making spicket . Normally you would fill the pot first and then pour the cup, but since we were in a hurry he said to pour it strait into the cup......but as the coffee line neared the top of the cup, I wondered " What do I do after the cup is full?"
The next thing that I remember was hot coffee spilling all over my hand and all over the floor as I shook in such a panic that I thought I was having a seizure! (had I been in my right mind I might have thought to put the stupid pot under the stupid thingy!) That wasn't embarrassing enough....now I had to take the coffee and the food outside. I set the coffee down (thank God) and went to grab the food. I was supposed to take them out together, but I started out the door with just the food, and promptly slipped on a wet floor and fell flat on my (Blessed Assurance).
Yeah, it was quite the day. But I must say that I have learned a lot from working there. For one thing, I have learned temperance and patience. This job has caused soooooo much grief at times that I had to learn how to properly handle that I think God has helped me prepare for the ministry. I have also learned compassion for those who do not know the Lord. I have seen that they really are good people who need him, and it has moved me to pray for them and be a witness for Christ.
Wow! I guess God can teach you a lot even in a fast food restaurant

-Stephen

Friday, July 18, 2008

Opera: Latin For "Death By Music"

I have things against classical music and I have things against opera. Satan invented opera. I know this because it came after the fall of man, but even God wouldn't judge us like that! My mom went with my dad to see The Phantom of the Opera in Toronto, and I was fortunate to have missed it. True, Andrew Lloyd Webber is a musical genius, and there were one or two songs on the CD (yeah, she bought it) that were okay, but I cannot listen all day to "The Phaaaaaaaaaaaaaantom-of-the-opera-is-theeeeeeeeeerrrrrre! Insiiiiiiiiiiide my miiiiiiind!" Yeah he's in my mind, giving me a migrane! All the music is too high, full of vibrato, and retains the ability to make your ears bleed both internally and externally. Sometimes my mom will play that CD all day long.......on these days, I turn off the main breaker. If she figures this out, I hide the CD while she's in the basement turning the power back on.
Stop by our website, www.foresterministries.com, and check us out, take a look at our CDs, and find out where we'll be next in our ministry!

-Joshua

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

How Stupid Can We Really Be???

Okay, I was working with my dad again today and we were on a gas station roof. We had to replace a little fan motor that wasn't even a foot long or wide, and I noticed something on the box; be advised, the following is a true story and not for the faint of brainpower. On the top flap of the little box was something I deemed highly unnecessary: instructions. "What's wrong with instructions" you say? Instructions to open the stupid box????? I'm not kidding, there were three moronic steps on how to open the dumb thing, and they were as follows: 1- Hold flaps open..............no, duh. 2-Turn box upside down on flat surface.........nah, I wanna turn it sideways on a hill. 3- Lift box straight up.....what if I want to lift it in a curved motion? Come on, how stupid do they think we are??? I just wanna know how many of you have a friend that actually has to read that to figure out what to do.... "Oh, boysenberry, how do I get the motor out of this cardboard fortress????"

Make sure you stop by our website and check out our store at http://www.foresterministries.com/. We hope to see you in concert soon!

-Joshua

Saturday, July 12, 2008

You Need Me, Gaither!!!

I have here a list of reasons why I think Bill Gaither should bring me into his tours....(should he ever find out I exist):

There is a Christian duty to be filled: Frankly, most of the great Homecoming Heroes have gone on, causing a gap that must be filled by younger folks. I am merely a willing vessel, a young and humble individual that is willing to allow the Lord to use him to reach the lost with the Good News of God's saving grace. I have no need of fortune or fame (Hi Mom!), I am only a humble servant, praying that the Lord will see fit to allow me to serve Him.

Gaither needs talent: I think that he needs someone who has talent, someone with that aura of wonderfulness and funny-bone factor that can make audiences laugh 'til they cry........... oh, sudoku, I just gave a reason why he WOULDN'T hire me!!!

And lastly.............I'm free anytime he wants me: I still have a few bookings that he can use me with (67...68...69...), and I believe I can work him into my schedule! I usually don't like to play favorites, but if he really needs me this much, I guess I can make an exception.

Yeah.........right. With my luck, some foot doctor named Phil Gaither will want me to help him pull fungus out of people's toes! "No, you don't need a tool, just reach in and get it with your fingers!" Oh well. I know that the Lord has a plan and I am eager to see what He is already doing with our ministry. Be sure to check us out at www.foresterministries.com and take a look at our CDs!

-Joshua

Thursday, July 3, 2008

I Am Never Eating Chinese

My dad and I were working in a Chinese restaurant today and I realized that I really don't like Chinese food after all. I haven't seen the menu in that place, but after taking a look at the kitchen, I'm pretty sure all they serve there is grease. Plus, do they know what a sink is for? The chef took his hand (who knows where it had been?) and stuck it down into some liquid, then poured it into a big pan with the food. Now I've got to wondering where his hand was before. I have visions of him coming out of the bathroom saying, "We're all out of soap!" Plus, I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure some lady swore at me in Chinese......either that or she just saved a bunch of money on her car insurance by switching to Geico.

Be sure to check out our website, www.foresterministries.com, and take a look at our CDs in the store!

-Joshua

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

June 29th concert & TV

In his last blog Josh told a little about our recent concert down at First Baptist Church of Berrian Springs, so I thought that I would say a little more about it since it feels like an eternity since I last published a blog! (in the future, I will try to stay on top of this better)
Anyway, last Sunday went very well. The crowd was very responsive and they really seemed to enjoy every thing that we did. I sang a song from my new CD called "Just A Little While", and Josh and I made it a smash by throwing our puppets into it. I would like to say more about it, but I don't want to spoil all of the fun for those who haven't seen it yet!

The other day I was watching a re-run of the old TV show Walker, Texas Ranger. One almost can't watch that show with a straight face, because at some point you WILL find something to laugh about!
For one thing, have you noticed that the star of the show, Chuck Norris, never showed ANY kind of emotion? It doesn't matter where he is or what happens, he seems to think that one emotion fits all, almost as if to say: " I'm really concerned for this person, but you would never know it by the stupid look that aways plasters my face!
Also, what about the collateral damage that rattles Dallas, Texas in every episode? By the second season, I figure that if everything they did was real, that they would have annihilated Dallas along with half of Houston. And did you notice that every thug and pre-school reject seemed to know kung-fu? Most of the bad guys that he fought knew just a little, but not enough to beat him? All he really had to do (as the bad guy was flying through the air for a kick into his chest) was step aside and let him fall through the window!
Don't get me wrong, Walker fan club, I actually enjoy his show. In fact, I have five seasons of it on DVD and hope to acquire more soon! So why do I like it if I think it's a little goofy?.....Probably because, like the Three Stooges, "It's a guy thing!"
Don't forget that our new Cd's are now up for sale on our website. You can get one for fifteen dollars, or both for twenty! I hope that you enjoy listening to them as much as we did making them.

-Stephen

Monday, June 30, 2008

The Checkout Aisle

Evaluate this with me if you will: how come whenever you go to the grocery store there are like ten checkout aisles and only three of them are open? Are they trying to say something like, "We are terribly undermanned and don't care enough about you morons to hire more people." And have you ever noticed that when you first come into the store, the aisles are empty, but by the time you've gotten your bottle of Advil, the've come two by seven from all around the world!!!
I'm one of those people that is just plain unlucky. Whenever I go to check out, do I get the employee of the month? No, she's two aisles over, I've got the guy that handed Lincoln the theater program the night he was shot. Apparently, that night shook him up pretty badly because he can't stop shaking. On top of that he moves with the vigor and energy of a rock. I either get him or a woman who talks so much that I swear she's a pull string doll that pulls her own string. Yak-yak-yak-yak-yak-yak!!!!!

Okay, enough of the cruelty. The concert in Berrien Springs went quiet well. We sold some CDs and the church was very friendly and warm to us. My comedy went very well and I believe that the people there were blessed through our ministry. We are always excited to see God's work, and we look forward to our future engagements.

-Joshua

Friday, June 27, 2008

A Scarred Past

I remember several years ago how I got my first scar on my knuckle. I was opening a can of dog food (for my dog, of course) when I felt something sharp on my right pointer finger. I looked down to see that the sharp edge of the can lid had cut me deep. I remember thinking, "Oh look: I'm bleeding." I let out a yell and said something like, "I just cut off my finger!!!!" (You know how little kids can overreact.) My dad went into the bathroom for a band aid and told me to hold my finger up high so it would stop bleeding. I looked at my still bleeding finger over my head and wanted to say, "Tell that to my finger!!!" Amazingly, I didn't get stitches from the hospital. My dad wanted to do it himself, but I wouldn't let him. He's no Betsy Ross, if you know what I mean! I would've wound up walking around with my right hand sown to my eyebrow.

Good news! Both my CD and Stephen's CD are officially out and available for purchase! WE are very excited to see what the Lord will do through our ministry and sincerely hope that these projects are a blessing to many. Enjoy! (The CDs, not a Coca Cola)

-Joshua

Friday, June 20, 2008

Too Many Steps, People


I was in Dairy Queen the other day and I saw something that made me start to laugh out loud. My dad and I were fixing one of their ice cream machines when I saw it: the instructions for the One Step Blizzard Treat....... the problem: the One Step Blizzard Treat had four steps in making it!!!!! Think about this, folks.... somebody couldn't count..... "Let's see: one step.... two steps.... three........... oh, pistachio. One step." Somebody flunked preschool. This is the same person who, asks "Would you like extra salt?"................ do I LOOK like a deer?????

STILL no news on my CD, but I am very excited and anticipating its release. I'm almost excited as my biggest fan.......... right, mom?

-Joshua

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Fast Food Is Wierd

I was at a fast food restaurant the other day and I realized that there are a lot dumb things about fast food. Dumb thing #1: you pull up to the drive thru and they say, "Welcome to McDonald's, how may I help you?"...................Um, you can take my order, stupid. I mean, seriously, did they think I might say something else? "Yeah, I need a suit pressed, can you guys do that?.....No?....Okay, I guess I'll try Burger King!" Dumb thing #2: they always ask you things like, "Would you like to supersize that fry?"............um, no, if I wanted a supersize, I wouldn't have ordered a small!!! Oh, excuse me, you know far better than I do what I would like to clog my arteries with. By all means, YOU order my food! I don't mean to be hard on fast food people, I know that they're making a living, but couldn't they try to ask smart-people-questions?

No news on my CD yet, but I'll let you know when it's available on our website. Be sure to visit us at www.foresterministries.com. We'll keep you posted!

-Joshua

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Roadkill

I was driving to church this past Sunday with my family and I noticed something in the road, but I couldn't make out what it was. I thought that perhaps it was roadkill. I started to move away from it, but I moved too late. I drove right over the roadkill. The only thing was that it wasn't roadkill before I hit it! It was in fact a turtle in the road, I think that it's in a soup somehwere in that great restaurant up yonder! Speaking of turtles, if a turtle loses its shell, is it considered naked or homeless??? Either way, it'll probably still beat that silly rabbit. I know, I know, I was just making a joke. I know that it was a Taurus and a mare.

On another note, my final debts for my CD have been paid, so I should be receiving the finished product relatively soon. I sent off the last amount of money today and I hope to have the CD by the June 29 concert we have booked after Father's Day. I am really looking forward to being in Berien Springs, and I hope to have my product by the time I and my brother go. We'd love to see you there!

-Joshua

Monday, June 9, 2008

It's almost done!

My CD is well on it's way to being finished! Last week I was in the studio every day except Friday, and we went from only having two songs done to finishing nine songs, with just a little more work on one of them. Originally we did not figure on getting so much done so soon, but now we are getting really excited. I am hoping to get it all done in time for the newly booked date that we just received for June 29. I can't get back in the studio right away, but I will hurry back as soon as possible.
The new date will soon be posted on the schedule section of our website, so be sure to check it if you live anywhere near Berien Springs, Mi. to see when and where it will be held.
In case you saw this blog through a means other than our website, the site address is foresterministries.com

Friday, June 6, 2008

Joshua- Not Exactly Singin' In The Rain!!!

My dad owns a heating and cooling buisiness adn I work with him. Today, we were at a gas station working on the roof with the ugliest clouds all around us. No sooner do we get ready to head down the ladder than do I see the first flash of lightning not any too far away! No worries for dad, he was already on the ground. After I finally got to the sweet, sweet ground below, I had to put my body in contact with the best conductor of electricity around: our metal ladder. I wrestled the huge extendable over to the truck with the thunder going in multiple places, but, because of my dain bramage, I got the stupid thing stuck on top of the truck!!! I then found myself doing two things: standing on top of the truck with thunder all over the place while I struggled with the ladder, and pledging that I would go to Africa if God would just let me get down alive. Finally, I got down and no more than about fifteen seconds after we got inside the gas station, the weather turned from zero rain to a sideways downpour in about two seconds. Seeing this, I knew that there was a God in Heaven! I'm kind hoping though that God doesn't hold me to the Africa thing!
Still no update on my new comedy CD, but I'll keep you posted if anything new comes up!

- Joshua

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Joshua's CD Update

Well, I have an update on my CD. My recording is finished after performing live, and the production is in progress. I have paid for the artwork and have seen a preview of it myself. The CD should be available soon, and will be available on the website as well as in concert. I am very excited about my first recording and will let you know when it is ready for sale.

In the meantime, I want to expound a little on what I said before about classical music. I know that it can be a good thing and millions of people enjoy it (well, maybe thousands.....hundreds....a few...). However, as I said before, I cannot stand it. Most pieces are very long and repetitious. After a while, they begin to have an effect on you. I think that I am beginning to repeat myself. After a while they begin to have an effect on you. I think I am beginning to repeat myself! After a while.... Oh, peanut butter.
Anyway, one other problem I have with the music is that there aren't any words. It's easy to walk down the street singing, "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound," but no one ever sings classical as they go for their morning jog. And that's because they would look like idiots singing "C, E, G, F, A,". Of course, that's not much worse than "Doe, a deer, a female deer."

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Stephen- WOW! What a rush!

I just got back from a big trip to Cedar Point on Thursday. I went with Josh, my parents, and our good friends the Mitchells. We just graduated from high school with our friend Kyle, and we celebrated by our to families heading toward the land of rockin' rollar coasters! It was amazing. I had not been to Cedar Point in several years so it all felt like new, and I even got to ride some new things that I had not tried before. We timed this trip on purpose so that there would not be too much waiting in lines for our favorite rides, and it worked out beautifully. We rode the Millennium Force, one of the tallest coasters in the world, after only about twenty minutes wait,(compared to eight hours when it first was built and two-four hours in the busy season) but we topped the day of by riding the Top Thrill Dragster: 420 feet high, 120 miles per hour!!! It may only be an 18 second ride, but boy is it intense: zero to one-hundred-twenty in 3.1 seconds, rocketing out, spiraling straight up, curve, and spiral straight down to a screeching halt! I was going so fast that I think I missed my next birthday! While I was strapped in before launch, I took one look at where I was about to be sent and re-dedicated my life to Christ! It was especially great because we only waited about 15-17 minutes.
Nothing new on my recording yet, due to the fact that my producer/older brother Mark Forester is out of town singing until Monday, so we'll try to record some more stuff soon.
Josh's recording is done. We are just waiting for his artwork to be finished and the order placed to Nashville for his print. When we have it in we will put it on the web site for sale.
Be sure to to watch foresterministries.com for our CDs coming soon!

Monday, May 26, 2008

Josh- Intellectuals Play Classical

Hi folks! I just thought I'd let you in on some news....let's see....news....news.... Well, when I think of some I'll let you know!

Anyway, I was at a piano lesson with my teacher the other day and I found out some disturbing news: my teacher was trying to encourage me in the way of classical music, and he said that intellectuals play Bach..... right away I knew that wasn't for me! I mean no offense if you're a lover of classical music, but I simply cannot stand it. For one thing, most of the pieces are too long. Take the Moment Musical, for instance. MOMENT Musical is like a four minute piece! So much of the song repeats itself that I'm pretty sure Schubert stuttered. This guy must've hung out with P-p-p-p-orky P-p-p-ig!

Well, I finally thought of some news..... Today, Hillary and Obama.... yeah, like you haven't heard enough of that! Anyway, I've finished all the recording for my very first comedy CD. I'm still waiting for the print to come in and the duplication needs to be finished, but it should be available soon, both in concert and on the website. I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do through this recording and I am anticipating its release. I'd say something like TTYL, but that's for losers...........TTYL!

News on Stephen's recording

Thanks for stopping by to check out our blog again. It took some time for me to update this since our website is still new and I am just learning how to run it. It has been over a week since we last posted an update, but now that I have the hang of this we will try to update it two, maybe three times a week.
We have been busy working on our first recordings. I have recorded three songs so far. On my graduation night last Sunday, our older brother Mark (of Mark & Andrea Forester) had a shocking surprise for me. For those of you who may not know, Mark Forester owns his own studio and is producing my first CD. I had just recently recorded the Cathedral Quartet classic "Who Can Do Anything?" and Mark played the newly remixed version featuring a guest appearance by none other than Jim Brady, baritone singer for the ever popular Booth Brothers!
I was flabbergasted! Jim is one of my very favorite singers and his family has been long term friends of our family since he was about three years old, but he is so busy these days I never would have dreamed that he would do that for me. He sang both baritone and tenor on the choruses and took the solo on the last verse. The only bummer about his appearance is that now I have to go back and re-do my part since they discovered some mistakes and Jim and I don't match quite right. I hope to get back into the studio this week to get a lot more done.
If you are interested in booking us, check out our website at www.foresterministries.com. There you can read our bios and listen to our demos to see if we fit what you are looking for.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

We GRADUATED!!!!!!!!

We graduated from High School tonight!!!!! We had our graduation service at our church. Along with our friend Kyle Mitchell, we got the long awaited diplomas!

Stay in touch with our ministry through this blog. We are both working on new recordings to be released very soon!

Visit our new website at www.foresterministries.com

Stephen & Joshua Forester

Monday, May 12, 2008

Our First Blog!

Welcome to our blog! We are excited to have this way to communicate with you. Here you will learn about the latest news and happenings in our lives and ministry. You probably found this blog by a link on our website. Just in case you did not see our website....the address is: www.foresterministries.com Check it out.

We will try to keep this blog fresh and updated with new content often. Check back soon to see what is going on with us!

Stephen & Joshua Forester