More news about our ministry

Hey, everyone, I'm sorry that we haven't been putting up new blogs recently, but things have been pretty busy here with us for several reasons. For one thing, we had a little scare with my Dad's health this week when he had to go to the emergency room in the hospital for heart trouble. His heart was beating almost three times as fast as it normally would, and he was in serious danger of a stroke or heart attack. But we thank the Lord that after several days in the hospital, his heart rate was stabilized and he was sent home with a bag full of medicine. We now must keep a close eye on him to see if there are any adverse side effects such as lowering the heart rate too much or messing up his blood pressure.

Back to the ministry stuff. If you haven't read it already, check out Josh's last blog to read his big news. I don't know for sure if I will be on that program, but I am excited for my brother anyway.

I called the Pastor of Riverwalk Baptist Church this week, and learned exactly what we are supposed to do for their Family Carnival on October 4. We will be doing short shows once every hour featuring puppets, magic, skits, and whatever else we think is appropriate for a group of several hundred elementary school kids. We will present the Gospel in different ways, and we pray that many will trust Christ that day.(We also pray for good weather!)

We appreciate all your prayers,
-Stephen

Big News From The Comedian

Big news, everyone: last Wednesday, my brother Mark called and told me the biggest most exciting news of my life. I have been booked, for November 1, to appear in Roseville Michigan with Greater Vision and Legacy Five! For once, I am not telling a joke! This is the biggest thing ever to me, and I am really excited. I cannot wait for November now!
On a less exciting note, I was working with my dad today and we were fixing a leak in the ceiling that A/C related. He had to use a ladder, and when the job was done, he asked me to fold it up for him. So I grabbed the ladder and began the intricate folding process, when I realized that my hand was hurting. Not from carpal tunnel, but I looked and realized, "Oh, Billy Goat, my hand is caught in the ladder." Nobody saw me, but I started laughing anyway.
Be sure to check us out at www.foresterministries.com !

-Joshua

Heaven Will Be Great IF.....

Have you ever met one of those people that you just wish you weren't going to see in Heaven? I know that sounds mean, but I'm sure all of us have thought that at one point or another! Think about this: that know-it-all neighbor might have a mansion next door, or you'll have to listen to motor-mouth forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.... And think about this: since there's no sin in Heaven, no matter how much you may want to tell him to stick his head under the lawn mower, you won't have the heart in eternity! "Listen Jim, I've heard you gab all day..........but...........(UGH)....must.......listen to.............Gomer Pyle!!!!!" Since God has a sense if humor, I have a feeling that if there's a brother in Christ that you can't stand down here, you'll be roommates with him in Heaven.

The concerts at the Pix Theater and Forester Park went very well. I tried out a new piece of material that went extremely well in both events, and it is now a part of my shtick. I won't tell, but think of what you would get if you combined Green Acres, over-the-top action movies, late night TV and old cowboy films. Puzzled? You'll find out if you come see us! Be sure to stop by the website, www.foresterministries.com.

-Joshua

How Do You Swallow This???

My church is doing Vacation Bible School, but it's for six Sundays instead of five straight days. Our theme is sailing, with the bad guys being pirates. Anyway, all the helpers, including myself, wear sailor hats. As we were on our way home, I took my hat off and saw the tag on the inside. It was here that I found one of the dumbest things I've ever read: "WARNING: Choking hazard, small parts, not intended for children under three years"!!! I began to examine the hat thinking I had missed something. I tried to find small parts on the hat, but I could not. There were no buttons, strings, or even loose threads! How many parents have ever walked into a room and screamed, "Oh zucchini, junior's choking on his hat!!!" I can see a three-year-old trying to pull that oversized sailor hat from his air passage. Further more, what three-year-old child has ever looked at a sailor hat that was about seven sizes too big for him and said to himself, "I think I shall try to force this white whozzamajigger into my lungs!"
Don't forget to check out our website at www.foresterministries.com!

-Joshua

The Drama of Dairy Queen- by Stephen

I think that I have mentioned here in the past that I have a part-time job at Dairy Queen. It's not the highest paying job on the planet, (made obvious by the fact that I am currently receiving financial support from a ten-year old boy in Zimbabwe) but it has raised some much-needed funds for our ministry. Anyway, recently I was at work when disaster struck.......Chuck Norris announced that he was running for President!
OK, it wasn't that bad, but it was a bit embarrassing. Someone pulled up to the drive-through and ordered some food and a coffee. It was going to take a couple of minutes to make the food fresh, so we asked if they could pull through and around to the other side to park and we would bring it out to them as soon as it was done.
But while we were waiting for the food to finish dripping off grease, Daryl, my manager, asked me to go make the coffee. I immediately began fasting and praying for a miracle, because I knew that that would be the only way I could accomplish this task! You see, I have never been able to swallow a sip of coffee in my life, (I'm pretty sure that it's made from devil's blood) so if I don't even drink it, how should I know how to make it?
I panicked. Daryl seemed to know that something was wrong, so he started telling me how to add the coffee mix and make the hot water come out of the coffee-making spicket . Normally you would fill the pot first and then pour the cup, but since we were in a hurry he said to pour it strait into the cup......but as the coffee line neared the top of the cup, I wondered " What do I do after the cup is full?"
The next thing that I remember was hot coffee spilling all over my hand and all over the floor as I shook in such a panic that I thought I was having a seizure! (had I been in my right mind I might have thought to put the stupid pot under the stupid thingy!) That wasn't embarrassing enough....now I had to take the coffee and the food outside. I set the coffee down (thank God) and went to grab the food. I was supposed to take them out together, but I started out the door with just the food, and promptly slipped on a wet floor and fell flat on my (Blessed Assurance).
Yeah, it was quite the day. But I must say that I have learned a lot from working there. For one thing, I have learned temperance and patience. This job has caused soooooo much grief at times that I had to learn how to properly handle that I think God has helped me prepare for the ministry. I have also learned compassion for those who do not know the Lord. I have seen that they really are good people who need him, and it has moved me to pray for them and be a witness for Christ.
Wow! I guess God can teach you a lot even in a fast food restaurant

-Stephen

Opera: Latin For "Death By Music"

I have things against classical music and I have things against opera. Satan invented opera. I know this because it came after the fall of man, but even God wouldn't judge us like that! My mom went with my dad to see The Phantom of the Opera in Toronto, and I was fortunate to have missed it. True, Andrew Lloyd Webber is a musical genius, and there were one or two songs on the CD (yeah, she bought it) that were okay, but I cannot listen all day to "The Phaaaaaaaaaaaaaantom-of-the-opera-is-theeeeeeeeeerrrrrre! Insiiiiiiiiiiide my miiiiiiind!" Yeah he's in my mind, giving me a migrane! All the music is too high, full of vibrato, and retains the ability to make your ears bleed both internally and externally. Sometimes my mom will play that CD all day long.......on these days, I turn off the main breaker. If she figures this out, I hide the CD while she's in the basement turning the power back on.
Stop by our website, www.foresterministries.com, and check us out, take a look at our CDs, and find out where we'll be next in our ministry!

-Joshua

How Stupid Can We Really Be???

Okay, I was working with my dad again today and we were on a gas station roof. We had to replace a little fan motor that wasn't even a foot long or wide, and I noticed something on the box; be advised, the following is a true story and not for the faint of brainpower. On the top flap of the little box was something I deemed highly unnecessary: instructions. "What's wrong with instructions" you say? Instructions to open the stupid box????? I'm not kidding, there were three moronic steps on how to open the dumb thing, and they were as follows: 1- Hold flaps open..............no, duh. 2-Turn box upside down on flat surface.........nah, I wanna turn it sideways on a hill. 3- Lift box straight up.....what if I want to lift it in a curved motion? Come on, how stupid do they think we are??? I just wanna know how many of you have a friend that actually has to read that to figure out what to do.... "Oh, boysenberry, how do I get the motor out of this cardboard fortress????"

Make sure you stop by our website and check out our store at http://www.foresterministries.com/. We hope to see you in concert soon!

-Joshua